Robert Gutierrez

For Robert:

All of us will miss you

More than words and art and music can say

You were a true warrior

You smiled and made us laugh and cry

You thanked us

Until the end.

You never wanted us to worry

You never wanted to bother

But it is all of us who thank you

For your ocean sized heart!

For your passion for life

For your kindness and sacrifices

For always being there for us rain or shine

For pouring out your emotions, humor, and gentle heart, like if there was no tomorrow...

If we all had one more day with you

Or if we all had one more life with you

It would never be enough!

Like an unfinished melody

The silence hurts us all so much, since we all wish to hear more…from you.

One more day and we would need more.

A day to barbecue in the yard with family and friends

with you at the helm

making us laugh and feel like superstars!

One more day to marry Jessica, the girl of your dreams

One more day for you to have the beautiful kids you both talked about, looked forward to

One more day to film your stories

One more day to take a trip with you

One more day with all of us here to have a celebration together.

Around you time always stopped

No worry in the world

Just enjoy the good times and smile

As little cousins I remember so much

Too many memories that make me so happy they hurt….so here are a few shards of light.

Finding two trash cans with you that Grandpa had set near the porch filled to the brim with cold rain water, leaves and all, and we agreed with smiles that it was a good idea….and slipped in to them up to our eyes, escaping the hot summer sun and laughing knowing we’d get in trouble. One of my favorites was snorkeling in a pool we made at Grandma's with plastic trash bags and rocks...

I remember every inch of grandma’s yard and crawling through it, exploring it, with our family and friends, throwing oranges and playing war, indiana jones, and ghost hunting,

composing melodies and beats in the garage and dancing to them.

So many haunted houses, art exhibitions, events, performances, music videos, films, soundtracks, you selflessly contributed too….all of them with a touch only you had.

You loved your family and friends with all that you had.Your friends were also your family.

Now you are on a new adventure

And it brings me comfort knowing that every living creature will also take that journey.

I will be proud to tell the stories of who you are and what you lived for and the battles you triumphed over! I can imagine our grandchildren and great grandchildren and their friends one day laughing and being proud of Robert!

Leaving us so soon feels like holes in our hearts

But you wouldn't want us to worry

You’d want us to fill our hearts

like the trash cans filled with rain

on those long summer days

and jump on in! Full to the brim, overflowing with laughter, smiles, stories and good times!

The beautiful Son of Virgie and Rusty, Filmmaker, Vault Clerk, Background Actor  Production Assistant, Storyteller, Fiancee, Accordion Player, Chef, Premier DJ, Composer, Whitewater Rafter, Cousin, Grandson, Uncle, Comedian, Best Friend, Little Brother, Big Brother, Mentor, Survivor, Caterer, Listener, Poker Player and more ...

I’ll turn my sorrow and tears into refreshing rain drops, for you my little cousin!

And I know you will forever be with us, and if we let you, you will keep changing us all for the better for generations of families and friends to come!!! You brought us all together for a reason, like your little loyal team of broken toys, piñatas, dancing skeletons, saints, lovers, and explorers!

We’ll watch over your marshmallow of a dog Slick now….and make sure he is happy too, just watch over us with your big brown eyes and gentle smile…until we meet again soon.

We'll take the stormy, dark ocean of missing you.....and let the winds you've given us create waves to wash us all into something more beautiful, to triumph with humor and heart in our own battles, with you as our smiling gladiator at our side!

We all love you Robert! We carry you in us forever.

    -Cousin Fernie Apodaca

There will be a Car Wash Benefit Saturday, April 9, starting at 9:00 A.M. at the Corner of Polk and Glenoaks in the Country Cousins Parking Lot in Sylmar.

A viewing, rosary and tribute will be held on Friday, Apri 15, 5:00-9:00 p.m. at the Poverello of Assisi Retreat. On Saturday, April 16, Mass will be held at the same location. Poverello of Assisi Retreat 1519 Woodworth Street San Fernando 91340. Burial will follow at San Fernando Mission Cemetery.